It is holiday time! This is a wonderful, positive experience for many of us and for others, it can bring up a lot of old family baggage. Wouldn’t it be nice to enter the holidays with a fresh energetic perspective on dealing with those tricky relationship dynamics? Consider these following tips to set the mood and a harmonious energetic tone for the holidays in your space and your relationships.

Create a Sacred Space

For many of us, we will be hosting friends and family in our homes this year. There are things we can do to create positive energy in the space even before the guests arrive.  We are sensory beings, so engaging as many senses as possible is a great way to delight and even neutralize any tension before it starts. Try diffusing some high-quality essential oils into your space. Be mindful of how you are using lighting. Avoid any fluorescents and use some candlelight and other soft lighting to keep the mood calm.  Another important part of creating a sacred space is setting up the rooms to accommodate the number of people. Keep in mind that the way you set up the rooms determines how people will use them.  Create a good flow that promotes conversation and mindful interactions.

Also be mindful of your energy and activities before people come over. If you are running around yelling at your kids and spouse telling them to clean up and get ready, that frantic energy will fill your space. Now many of your guests might not be conscious of it, but on some level, they will be able to sense that frenetic energy. So spend some time meditating in the space before people come over. Create a positive container for loving and harmonious interactions. It is your space; so hold that space in a way that promotes love and joyousness. Spend a moment giving thanks and even say a blessing. All of this will shift the energy in the room and you will set the stage for a great experience.

Change your Energy, Change the Exchange. 

Now that the space is set become aware of how you are showing up energetically. Is it with an open and loving heart or are you showing up guarded and already with an expectation of how the event or person will act or progress? The only control that you have in any relationship is you; how you show up energetically and how you act and respond. Avoid reacting (re-acting) and instead take a breath and respond with intent. As you change your energy, you change the energy dynamic. When we deal with others without a conscious awareness of ourselves, we usually meet people where they are at until an energetic equilibrium is met. Think about adding a drop of food coloring into a glass of water. The color diffuses from high concentration to low concentration until the point of equilibrium. However, when you engage with that person from a conscious state, you can maintain the integrity of your high vibration and their energy will shift upward. This changes the exchange. From this place, it becomes much easier to practice compassion and show forgiveness.

One of the ways it will help you to do this is to surrender. Surrender means to be okay with what is. It makes no sense to expect something from someone when they have shown over and over that they are not that person you want them to be. So you get to decide if you are going to let that continue to bother you. Maybe your mother is always picking on you, you can choose to disassociate with her or you can be mindful of your energy and decide how much of an energetic investment you are going to make in her criticisms. Resentment, anger or helplessness are very low vibrational states. Choose this time to engage with a compassionate heart and consciously raise up the energy dynamic and change the exchange. Let go of those expectations and remain unattached. This doesn’t mean you are condoning anything, it just means that you are loving without conditions. If you really look at it, you are practicing the ultimate act of self-love.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries need to be established both energetically and physically. This means being mindful of your tendency to overextend, overspend and overindulge. Ask yourself, which one of those is my greatest challenge around the holidays? Also, many people have a hard time being in a space with so many people and often a lot of holiday-related clutter. Check in with yourself and be your own expert resource manager. This may require that you step outside and get some fresh air. Maybe even go for a walk, just to center yourself and have a little quiet time. Before you go into a space set some energetic boundaries for yourself as well. I like to think of my energy field as a semipermeable cell. A semipermeable cell only allows certain molecules to enter its boundaries. Bring your attention to your heart space and imagine a glowing egg that originates in the heart and then extends out around your body.  This is a declaration of your boundaries.  Spend a few moments and bless the person or situation that may cause you stress or discomfort, and wish them their highest good. Then set your intention for the situation. E.g. it is my intention to maintain my energetic integrity and I only allow the other person (and/or your situation) access to my energy field with permission from my highest self. This ensures that only good, loving energy flows to you and disallows any negative energy from accessing your field.

Unplug from Devices and Plug into Each Other

Give this holiday time the full attention it deserves. Allow yourself to enjoy these moments with the people you love. Fracturing your energy by being plugged into a device means that you are not fully showing up in the moment. This takes away from your experience, and it inhibits your ability to be your own expert resource manager and tune into your needs. We all need to have days when we are unavailable to the outer world. Often the holidays are the only time we get to see some of our friends and family, so give them your best self. Turn off your phone or put it in airplane mode so you can still use the camera, that way you won’t be tempted to just check that quick email or Facebook status. Instead, invest your energy into mindful and loving interactions with your loved ones. This is also an example of setting a boundary for yourself. Be fully present and enjoy the presence of the season.

The energy around the holidays is palpable and can be a wonderful heart-opening experience. Sometimes we don’t extend that same joyousness and charity to our own family members, so this year remember to let go of expectation and extend that same lovingkindness to those who know you best. As we change our energy, we change the exchange. Happy holidays everyone!

Angela Levesque is writer, healer and empowerment coach. She works with clients doing intuitive lifestyle coaching, energy healing and mind/body instruction. Angela also teaches several classes on self-care and is the author of Healing Environment: The Conscious Creation of Health Visit for more information. Find her on and

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